Neri

Replacement Sheriff Dan Harding

Sheriff Dan Harding followed in the footsteps of the late Sheriff Wetford, a “balls” man. There were only two cells to lock up prisoners for short stays. There were no prisoners on the day the sheriff invited Barnaby and Bradley for lunch. Consequently Rex, the cell supervisor, acted as a bodyguard and cooked the sheriff’s meals. The invitation instructions were detailed. They were to wear chaps which were open to expose their cocks and balls, bare chests, cowboy boots. If they wore leather jackets they could remove and cloak them on arrival. The bodyguard would frisk them for weapons. He was another “balls” man so he would check out their balls. Time: twelve noon.

All three men had hairy chests. Bradley had the biggest cock. The sheriff paid more attention to their shoulders and strong arms for what he had in mind. Rex withdrew to the cooking area and left them to exchange pleasantries.

“Rex, my bodyguard, has a thing about balls. Don’t be too concerned about him checking your balls out. I employed him from the State Penitentiary where he was sacked. A prisoner in a cell went berserk. Rex calmed him down by crushing his balls and giving him a noose. The prisoner duly hung himself. Rex upset the authorities with a second prisoner whose balls he crushed. This time he placed the noose around the prisoner’s neck, hoisted him up above the ground, secured the noose and swung him. The authorities thought that this was a step too far. He didn’t have the authority to execute the prisoner. They quietly sacked him. I’m replacing Sheriff Wetford at short notice. I employed Rex because he was available and a hanging enthusiast. I invited you here today because of your reputation as hanging enthusiasts.”

Barnaby replied. “Thanks for your invitation. We are flattered to have a reputation. Life has been very quiet since our last necktie party.”

“That’s exactly why I invited you here today. Let’s discuss the possibility of a future necktie party.”

“We need to address problems. Cowboys are heavier than they used to be. The scaffolding for the gallows collapsed in one section because to the weight of the hanging cowboys. Next time we could employ a construction builder like, say, Dewitt, to provide a secure hanging space.” Barnaby made this observation.

The Sheriff asked about the location.

“Are you happy to have another necktie party on your property?”

“Yes but we need designated help in removing those hanged.”

“Pity about that but that is the point of the necktie party.”

The Sheriff asked if there were any other items to consider.

Barnaby replied.

“The cocks of cowboys when hanging usually spurt profusely. It follows that cowboys would want to swallow the cum or have a facial.”

Bradley interrupted.

“Last time the noose looses were concentrated beside the gallows. The necktie party needs some loose nooses to be spread out and away from beneath the gallows. That permits hangers to noose targets and drag them to beneath the gallows. Hangers enjoy dragging targets. The loose nooses underneath the gallows still satisfy a demand. I enjoyed watching the cock suckers being approached from behind and noosed as soon as they stopped swallowing. Also there were fuckers. They too were noosed from behind. You can tell these cowboys entered into the spirit of the necktie party.”

“Raising the target takes strength which the cowboys have. The pegs to secure the ropes need to be easy to access. The stragglers who missed out on available nooses contented themselves with strangling. That has its place.”

The Sheriff said “I heard about an invitation necktie party where the hangings continued to the last neck.”

“That must have been a variation on To the Last Man. We can understand why the invited men would get carried away but that sounds too extreme for us. We are fully aware that some cowboys are going to get lucky sooner or later and hang us. For the time being we are happy to organise cowboys to hang each other.” Barnaby said.

The Sheriff asked. “Is your Last Will and Testament up to date in case the cowboys are lucky?”

Bradley said “We were hoping that the necktie party area be preserved for future events.”

“Well in that case you must make a new document before our proposed event.

Rex is cooking burgers for lunch. We can eat them without using knives. After Rex was sacked there was a disturbing incident in the State Penitentiary. Lucky Rex kept his balls. Three prisoners got hold of knives, used them to cut off the cocks and balls of three other prisoners. Two guards whom Rex used to work with came to grief when they tried to come to the rescue. Rex envied their big balls. That’s why I do not permit knives beside the cells. When I go out I wear a knife for security as, I guess, you do. Tell me. Did any of the hangers use knives?”

“There’s always a few dedicated cowboys who enjoy cutting off cocks and balls. In that necktie party the balls were collected for Hector who stitches them together for coin cases or medicine pouches. He does a good job. We didn’t bring one today so we can’t show you an example.” Bradley said.

“It’s a wonder a cowboy hasn’t tried to cut off Hector’s cock and balls.”

“Well. He didn’t participate in the necktie party. Let’s persuade him to join in a future necktie party where his cock and balls will be in harm’s way.” Bradley said.

“I see. He could be the Guest of Honour at a Tribute necktie party. The burgers are ready. Move to the trestle table and sit down on the benches.”

The beef burgers taste yummy.

“How are you going to raise the money to pay Dewitt and his construction company? He insists on payment in advance after an incident with a client. The client didn’t pay his workers after they had constructed gallows. They hung him on the very same gallows.”

“It’s a pity we lost Matt, our creative accountant.

Matt, the accountant, thought he was invincible. Not the case… He had an attractive neck for noosing; his cock and balls were ideal for cutting. He was next in line for the noose. He had just noosed Frank whose cock spurted all over him. The noose around his own neck was a surprise. The hessian cut right into his shaved neck. Whee. His body wavered back and forth above the ground. His erect cock obliged. A cowboy manhandled his balls. This cowboy had a thing about balls. Pity the noosed accountant. The cowboy squeezed playfully then crushed the balls.

“If I find a replacement accountant for you he will have to raise funds.”

“Can we sell tickets in advance—date to be determined?”

“That’s a possibility. Another is to ask Dewitt for a quotation as well as ideas on how to raise the money required. A timber cutting firm supplies him with the timber required to construct gallows. There are rumours that lumberjacks have necktie parties from time to time. Maybe we could invite them to join in.”

Barnaby got stroppy. “The gallows on our property did an excellent job. None of the cowboys complained; the surviving cowboys praised the nooses. Raising up targets and securing them to the gallows might have been a physical challenge but their cocks responded. Certainly the noosed cowboys’s cocks responded by spurting profusely. Let’s just restore the existing gallows and keep costs to a minimum. The nooses can be recycled after cleaning.”

The Sheriff said “None the less Dewitt is a valuable source renowned for his necktie parties. He is fearless and joins in putting his own neck in danger. Let’s arrange a meeting.”

“Pardon me changing the subject. You mentioned that Rex crushed two sets of balls. Is this something he enjoys regularly?” Bradley asked.

“Rex would love to crush some more balls when the opportunity presents itself. He’s a balls man.” replied the Sheriff.

Barnaby put his foot in. “What about you?”

The Sheriff replied. “Executions are part and parcel of my job. I particularly like hangings but the proposed hangings we are discussing give our cocks a workout. Cowboys like flaunting their bare chests, cocks and balls in danger.”

Bradley said “Here, here. Let’s be daring. I propose a necktie party where all guests sheathe a knife in their boots, and fully expose their strong shoulders.”

Barnaby continues “You are coy. You mean their necks are ready for the nooses; their cocks and balls are ready for the knives.”

The Sheriff continued. “Remember some cowboys want to dress up in their finest chaps—open to the front, of course. Other cowboys welcome full frontal nudity plus boots—castration knives at hand.”

Rex returned to the trestle table. This time his impressive cock rested on the big balls. The Sheriff leant over and grasped the big balls.

“A lucky cowboy will crush these balls. He can expect Rex to reciprocate. Ball crushing is usually a joint activity.”

The Sheriff finds a cowboy who can count.

Walter stroked his cock and two balls. He liked circle jerks but they were few and far between in this part of the woods. At a pinch he eyed off the lumberjacks especially when they were bare chested. The Sheriff—what’s his name?—Dan Harding I remember—wants me to assist the gallows builder. We have to inspect and collect the nooses and associated equipment. I hope he wants me to help him secure the nooses on the gallows. I assisted at two necktie parties. It was great seeing the cowboys swing as their cocks erected and spurted. I was puzzled when a few hangmen either crushed the balls or cut off the cock and balls. They certainly enjoyed it. Maybe I can join in the forthcoming necktie party which Dewitt is organising.

Dewitt takes charge.

Dewitt ordered Walter to strip and change clothes. The chaps had to have an open front exposing his cock and balls. Bare chest. Boots. Sombrero. Castration knife to tuck into his boots. Walter doesn’t have a knife at hand. Dewitt grasps Walter’s cock and balls.

“Nice cock and balls. A few cowboys will consider crushing or cutting them off. It’s time for you to do a reality check. Here’s a brand new knife to protect yourself.”

Dewitt and Walter smiled at each other as Walter tucked the knife into his boots. Now they were ready to travel to the noose maker.

Dewitt had inspected and repaired the gallows on the property owned by Barnaby and Bradley. He changed the layout to a square configuration —each side had five nooses opposite five nooses. The wooden planks did require new construction but his team built them. The enclosed area was deliberately left to maximise crowding. Dewitt had proven on previous necktie parties that cowboys hanging were a stimulus to encourage strangling, ball crushing and hanging to the last noose. Twenty nooses in this case. Those who missed out would have to be satisfied with cutting off cocks and balls, inserting the cocks in mouths and then choking each other.

The nooses from the previous necktie party were removed along with the bodies. Lorenzo, the noose maker, had to construct nooses, ropes and pegs. It was time consuming; furthermore, Dewitt was very demanding about the quality of the nooses. This time Dewitt wanted the nooses to cut into the necks. Lorenzo was happy to pass on recommendations to cowboys willing to take part in a necktie party. He notified the lumberjacks who staged necktie parties from time to time.

Walter’s cock rose to the occasion as he counted out the nooses. There were twenty five. The five were loose extras to satisfy hangmen who had missed out. Lorenzo offered the extra five for free but Dewitt insisted on paying for them. Dewitt decided to pre-grease the nooses. The hangings would be painful enough. He bought two cans of suitable black grease and paid Lorenzo in full on the spot.

Dewitt’s reputation for staging memorable necktie parties had convinced a number of cowboys to take the challenge. Barnaby and Bradley were surprised at the proposed numbers. Dewitt told them twenty nooses and deliberately omitted to tell them about the extra five nooses. The Sheriff suggested to Dewitt that Barnaby and Bradley, hosts for the necktie party, be rewarded in the time honoured fashion and noosed at the climax. Rex would be taking his chances in the enclosed area. The Sheriff and he would be observing. Dewitt knew that the Sheriff would join in the hanging at the first opportunity. Rex proposed to the Sheriff that the necktie party opens with a trio: three men crush the balls of one of them and then two of them hang him.

The necktie party.

Barnaby and Bradley assembled the invited volunteers in a raised area overlooking the gallows. Most wore chaps open at the front exposing their cocks and balls. A select few were naked. Seven of them were stranglers.

“Everybody bend down and raise the knife in your boots.”

Three cowboys were missing knives. Walter selected three knives from a case and handed them over to the cowboys. All raised their knives. Barnaby beckoned them to return the knives to their boots.

“Today’s necktie party is a special event for our necks, cocks and balls. We proved that cocks respond to the nooses. Expect them to spurt profusely. After that, well, you might cut off the cocks and balls. My partner here, Bradley, has a special request. He asks that cut off cocks be inserted into mouths where possible. Any questions?”

A lumberjack asked whether there were any umpires.

“Good question. Umpires move to the front.”

Four naked umpires with black leather bands clasping both arms, and a whistle on cords spread across hairy chests stood proudly in front of the participants.

“The umpires have been briefed to support the hangings, secure nooses, raise targets, fix ropes and use knives. They will not rescue. Obey their whistle blasts. By the way you can target them. Look again at their cocks and big balls. Yes, the Sheriff chose them for their big balls. Some one may try to crush their big balls. Nice thought!”

Bradley called for three volunteers to open the necktie party. The three volunteers are required to crush the balls of one volunteer and then hang him. Rex, a cowboy and a lumberjack stepped forward. The Sheriff was a little concerned but Rex was free to choose danger to his balls.

The assembled crowd moved down into the area surrounded by the four gallows. They made room for the trio. The first umpire blew a starting whistle.

The cowboy was quick off the mark. He grasped the lumberjack’s thick cock; the lumberjack in turn grasped Rex’s balls; Rex grasped the cowboy’s balls.

The second umpire shouted “Apply pressure!”

The lumberjack’s thick cock spurted whilst he tried to crush Rex’s balls. The pain was incredible. Rex made a supreme physical effort, crushed the cowboy’s balls. The spectators barely heard the balls pop. The cowboy screamed in agony. The lumberjack and Rex dragged the cowboy across to the gallows, selected a noose, positioned it around his neck, threw the ropes over the gallows. The cowboy resisted, tried to get away but the twosome were strong enough to raise him onto the gallows, pulled the noose tight around his neck, secured the ropes and waited. The cowboy wildly threw his boots into the air for a few minutes.

Cowboys and lumberjacks alike felt nearby necks—a kind of foreplay.

Rex and the lumberjack withdrew into the crowd when the cowboy stopped breathing. A third umpire blew a whistle. “Start!” Barnaby and Bradley stepped in to continue the hangings. They chose a lumberjack who was none too happy with their advances. They had dreamt of hanging a lumberjack and here they were doing the real thing. The lumberjack had a buddy who intervened. Barnaby and Bradley with considerable difficulty dragged the two underneath the gallows. The fourth umpire assisted in positioning the nooses around the necks. The lumberjacks tried to break away but the umpire pulled the nooses tighter. The lumberjacks’s cocks erected. What a sight when they were raised, positioned securely on the gallows and started to hang.

The fourth umpire watched the hanging process intently. Barnaby and Bradley unshielded their knives and waited for the cocks to spurt. They were patient and cut the cocks off at the base of the shafts. They gave the fourth umpire the cut cocks for him to distribute into mouths at random.

Dewitt predicted that the Sheriff would want to join in as soon as he had seen the opening hangings. He cautioned him. “Not yet!”

For the time being clusters formed spontaneously and pounced on targets. Two, three, four, five men clustered together to capture a target for hanging. The cowboys entered into the spirit of the necktie party promptly. They took to hangings with ease and as for the knives, well, after castrating cattle, cutting cocks and balls off was a breeze. The lumberjacks were taller, stronger particularly with their arms to raise targets. The umpires certainly had balls tempting to crush but their cocks were the biggest in this hanging site. Sooner or later somebody will find out and attempt to do something about it.

Dewitt permitted Walter to join in. Walter would not be satisfied until he had hanged a man. The lumberjack he chose was a formidable foe. This ensured the duel was more satisfying. They grappled and dragged one another from one side to the other. Walter grasped a noose, positioned it around the lumberjack’s neck and pulled tight. The lumberjack kicked him in the balls. Ouch! Walter dragged him underneath the gallows. At this point the first umpire assisted him in raising, securing the noose, ropes etc. All this was going according to procedure until another lumberjack threw a noose around the first umpire’s neck. The noose cut deeply into the neck. The umpire felt the intense pain first and then the embarrassment of his big cock erecting. The lumberjack had a tussle to raise the umpire onto the gallows but he did it. The umpire huffed and puffed for a few minutes, exhausted his oxygen and settled down to hang. The lumberjack knew exactly where to cut the cock off —at the base of the shaft. He tried to shove the cut cock into Walter’s mouth but Walter kicked him in the balls. The lumberjack moved on and shoved it into a cowboy’s mouth at random. The cowboy was surprised and tried to remove it. No way. The lumberjack pressed hard so that the cowboy started to choke on the cock. It was a slow process, slow enough for another cowboy to throw a noose around the lumberjack’s neck.

Rex looked for balls to crush but this crowd preferred hanging. The remaining three umpires had the biggest balls to crush. Rex was reluctant to take them on as he suspected that they were professionally trained. Indeed they might have been but a cowboy or a lumberjack could still get lucky and hang them. Nobody could predict. Rex was surprised when cowboys attacked him. They lassoed him with the rope, pulled him in, tucked the noose around his neck, raised him. He felt a moment of excitement as he looked down; the noose tightened and he started to lose his breath. The pressure on his balls intensified; the cock spurted. He saw a cowboy unsheathe a knife. The cowboy chose to cut off the balls first. Another balls man? As his eyes glazed over he felt the knife cut off his cock. He hoped it would be put to good use. It was. A lumberjack choked on it.

Dewitt thought that the necktie party was losing momentum. He and the Sheriff stepped into the enclosed area. They discussed the situation with the three umpires. The umpires recommended a formal halt followed by an event for stranglers. Dewitt agreed and called for volunteer stranglers. Seven would be stranglers sheepishly stepped forward. It was a fortunate coincidence that these stranglers were naked. Dewitt checked their Adam’s apple. An umpire asked the crowd to make room for the naked stranglers. Barnaby and Bradley were thrilled with this unexpected event. The umpire blew the starting whistle. For a while the naked stranglers looked as if they were wrestling each other but then they settled down to sleeper chokes. Two of them tackled the seventh strangler. They lifted and tipped him upside down exposing his cock and balls. They took turns in crushing the balls with their bare hands. This time the spectators heard the balls pop. Then one of them strangled the seventh strangler with his neck still upside down on the ground. Two naked stranglers moved up behind them and pinned their arms around the exposed necks. They struggled. The problem was that the pressure on their necks was addictive. They wanted more and more pressure even though they knew it would be fatal. Almost in a congo line the last two stranglers lined up to strangle. They inserted their erect cocks in the arses of the stranglers awaiting strangling. Yes. They fucked them hard before strangling. The umpires permitted them to finish the strangling before dragging them across to the gallows. They imagined they were survivors from the strangling and didn’t expect the noosing. The spectators had their own views and basically thought that the noosing was warranted. They turned their attention back to noosing. There were unoccupied nooses.

The Sheriff had an unexpected challenge from a cowboy who intended to noose him and nearly did. The Sheriff’s cock responded to the threat with a full erection. Dewitt put the deadly noose on the cowboy’s neck, tightened it, threw the rope over the gallows, secured the rope, raised the cowboy. The cock and balls were an irresistible target for Dewitt’s knife. The Sheriff was relieved that he survived the encounter but envious of Dewitt cutting off the cock and balls.

The necktie party regained momentum. The unoccupied nooses gradually filled. Both a cowboy and a lumberjack sported cut cocks in their mouths. An umpire guided them for a face-to-face, cock-to-cock confrontation. The erect cocks sparked one another. Sure but they forced the umpire to join in. The lumberjack brutally gasped the umpire’s cock and stroked it. Now the three erect cocks were primed for action. The game was to pull the cocks slowly until they spurted. They were to spell out when the cocks were coming; only when the third cock spurts would they then try to crush each other’s balls. The umpire was dismayed when his cock spurted first; the lumberjack’s cock spurted second; the cowboy’s cock went limp. The umpire and the lumberjack took the matter into their own hands. They crushed the cowboy’s balls. Pop. The lumberjack then turned on and attacked the umpire’s balls. Pop. The cowboy swung back into action and crushed the lumberjack’s balls. The umpire thought he had the last word; he repositioned the cut cocks and choked both the lumberjack and the cowboy. The umpires had an agreement with each other. When their balls were crushed they expected a fellow umpire to hang them. Two umpires carried out their sad duty. The truth was they loved hanging men even a fellow umpire. The Sheriff noted their behaviour and decided to ask them to umpire in any future necktie parties.

Barnaby and Bradley thought the necktie party would be over when the twenty nooses were occupied. A spokesman from the lumberjacks thanked them for organising the necktie party. It was a great event. How could the participants express their thanks? Easy. The hosts had given the cowboys and lumberjacks supreme pleasure in hangings. It was only fair that they reciprocate.The following noosing was predictable. Cowboys tackled Barnaby; lumberjacks tackled Bradley. Barnaby and Bradley made a token gesture to escape but they ended up smiling. It’s true many men noosed each other on their gallows premises. The nooses cut into their necks in spite of the black grease. In fact they relaxed back and enjoyed their own noosing. The two cocks responded like a ramrod. Two men went down on the cocks and started sucking. They withdrew so that everybody could see the cocks spurting over their faces and hairy chests. At this point they started to lose consciousness but vaguely saw knives poised over their cocks. Oh no, oh yes. The Sheriff stepped forward and cut off Barnaby’s cock and balls. Walter cut off Bradley’s cock and balls. As a concession to their lifelong partnership the Sheriff switched their cocks and balls.

Dewitt called everybody to assemble. Faces beamed with delight proving that they had enjoyed hanging somebody, crushed balls or cut off cocks and balls. Step over there if you wish to continue. It’s strictly for dedicated hangers only and our version of noosing until the Last Man Hanging. Nine of you? Good choice. The others can leave now but keep us in mind to take part in future necktie parties.

Dewitt announced that the Sheriff, Walter and he would leave shortly. Walter begged permission from DeWitt to stay behind. DeWitt could see Walter’s cock erection. Walter was clearly turned on by hangings. The Sheriff intervened and said “Let him stay.” The dedicated hangers welcomed Walter as the tenth man. Walter’s erect cock prompted their cocks to come to life. Ten erect cocks but which ones will spurt in response to noosing? Walter had the bright idea that they should strip naked except for boots and knives at this point. They agreed and stripped from their chaps with difficulty. They had to help one another and, of course, mauled each other’s cocks and balls.

The distinction between cowboys and lumberjacks disappeared. All that mattered was the nooses on hand, strong arms and shoulders for lifting, erect cocks, knives for cutting off cocks and balls and course hands to crush balls. Walter was beside himself as he hung both a cowboy and a lumberjack. It was incredible watching them gasping for breath as the boots swung in all directions above the ground. For a moment he found it difficult to hold the knife steady. A cowboy had once mentored him in the art of cutting off cocks and balls. He applied all his knowledge as he cut into the top of the cock shafts. The cocks were now dead and he could concentrate on cutting off the balls, hey, big cowboy balls. The lumberjack did have a bigger cock but ordinary sized balls.

Walter survived as the Last Man to the surprise of DeWitt and the Sheriff. Walter was wound up with the sheer excitement of hanging men, crushing balls and cutting off cocks and balls. The Sheriff had lost Rex so he asked Walter to work for him.

DeWitt expected Walter and like-minded men to return to his next necktie party. DeWitt hoped to recycle the nooses this time. A clearing team collected the spent cocks and balls, removed the bodies and cleaned up the gallows for future use.

DeWitt gave Hector the cocks and balls collection for his pouch making. The question arose again. How come Hector keeps his cock and balls intact? It’s time for his balls to become a pouch. Let’s see to it!

Barnaby and Bradley left the property to a Mr. Felix Tombstone. His credentials as a hanging enthusiast remained unknown for the moment.